Meet Courtney

Monday always sucks.

Courtney's rule #7. It's universal I think. Monday sucks.

My Monday started with a note from the landlord. If I didn't pay the back rent on my slip at the marina, they'd be forced to litigate... yadda, yadda, yadda. Wash, rinse, repeat.

At least my latest client was ready to pay. I just had to retrieve the merchandise from his grandfather's old deposit box. I only wish I had something warmer than my green bikini to do it in.

I'm getting a lot of double-takes and blank looks. Hey, I may not be the most well-heeled urban salvage operator out there, but I'm the BEST...

You have no idea what I mean, do you? O.K., fine. Set the way-back machine for the better part of a century.

Back at the turn of the millennium, there were a lot of folks who ignored the obvious. 'Global warming? Then why is it snowing in winter?' they said. 'Climate change is part of nature,' they continued. 'It can't affect us THAT badly....'

As the great comedian of the era, George Carlin put it, “ask those people frozen into the stone of Vesuvius for centuries if they feel like a threat to the planet.”

As the polar ice caps began to melt, the influx of cold, fresh water did the unthinkable. It altered major currents in both the Atlantic and Pacific. It wasn't subtle either. Sure, the ocean levels only raised about thirty feel globally, but it happened in under a day. Besides, do you KNOW how much of civilization was less than thirty feet above sea level?

The floods and tides crushed most major cities not far enough inland. Economies collapsed, nations teetered.

I suppose I shouldn't be too bitter about it though. Without that, I'd be out of a job.

I specialize in retrieving things from the sea floor. Specifically a lot of the former urban centers around the Gulf of Mexico. You wouldn't BELEVIE how much cash you can find salvaging in the urban reef of “Neo Atlantis” as they call it now.

The best part, my expenses are dirt cheap. Why is that phrase still in use? Dirt is actually starting to get valuable... Anyway, maybe ninety percent of my contracts are for small items, things left behind in the mad rush to save loved ones. I don't even need specialized equipment for it. Just my trusty underwater scooter and my nano-breather.

WONDERFUL things nano-breathers. I can hold my breath for so long my Mom thought I was part fish, but with a nano-breather combing oxygen from the seawater I can stay under for close to three hours. Granted, the thing cost more than the thirty-foot sailboat I live on, but it's been so worth it to not worry about air tanks, especially in tight confines.

So here I am, chugging out to the where the records say my client's stuff was located. It's a wonderfully clear October morning with a crisp, bracing wind...and I'm wearing a a bikini under my jacket and sweats...

My name is Courtney Powell Jones. This is what I do.